Peeweeud

Sos I bean feewing kinda poody dis week. I have bean peein out red pee. I have been really pissed an' upset. I been like beech, leave meh alone! Mah cooter has been hurtin like Paris Hiltons cd sales. Ma sed dat dat stuff is called peeweeud an dat I am a ladee now. I's dun know about dat. Alls I know is dat I feel angry all dee time. I need some wuv!

Frawsty Bawston: I gots burried

Well I whent too go do mah doo dis morning an I got burried in dee snow. BURRIED! Dee snow was ovah mah head an I had ta hop just to get anywhere. Wat da woof! Den I got cold an wounded up fallin over becuz I couldn't walk ne more. I dun't kno wat happened. Of curse I got picked up but dis stuff is bad! Mah eyez werre buggin outta mah head seein dat much snow. Mama said my black cote had so much so on it it looked like I turned white. Mama sed if it's bad dribing shes not gunna go ta class today! Mo' snuggle time fer me!

Dis beeuteeful Bawston Terreeah walked inta dee room an said...

Hello. Dis Lily. Since dis Valentine ting is comming fur mah first post I tell yew huemans about dis ting called luve. Since I dee spokesdog fur dee Bawstons, Bawstons luve:
(In dis order)

1. Fud. All fud. I luve baked cheeken dee best. Dee Bawstons like fur different fuds change frum Bawston to Bawston.
2.Toys. I LUVES MAH CUZZY.
3. Seeing dee puff butt eevul pommeranians be beetun by Bawstons!
4. Peepul. Dis is dee last onlee becuz I wud go wid anyone for cheeken.

and dats strait from dee Bawstons mouth.